Buddha (A Repost)

Now that I am pregnant again, I am keeping a separate pregnancy blog.  I like to look back at the pregnancy blog I kept during my first pregnancy so that I can compare this pregnancy with my previous one.  Here's an old posting I came across today, which I posted back in 2009.  Wonder if I will mind this time around, since it looks like I am going to be twice as huge :)

There's a section on Baby Center that I read from time to time called "Mom Answers".  It is basically a message board in which a mom or mom-to-be posts a question, and then other moms and moms-to-be respond with their own answers, opinions, and comments.  Earlier this week, the question-of-the-day was, "How can I discourage strangers who want to touch my belly?"  This particular mom-to-be was tired of having strangers come up to her in public and rub her belly.  She wanted to know how to tell strangers to "f-off" without being rude.  The responses were interesting and some were pretty entertaining.  Here are a few of them:  

“If someone touches my belly, reaches for it, or asks to, I kindly with a big smile ask them if they would like to touch my ass too. That's usually enough to make them think about what they are doing...“

“If it happens (and it does frequently) I will reach out and rub or pat their [stomach] just like they are doing to me. They seem to pull back pretty quickly and look really uncomfortable.”


“Frankly, I don't concern myself with how polite I am. I didn't become public property when I became pregnant--none of us did. Anyone who touches me anywhere is subject to having their hand removed quickly and as firmly as necessary…”

A majority of the mothers-to-be who responded absolutely hate it when strangers do this. There were a few who didn’t really mind or care, but most were very bothered by strangers who had the audacity to touch them in such a personal manner.

I found this particular “Mom Answers” interesting because I frequently have strangers approach me and start rubbing my belly. Just this past weekend I was in line at a public restroom when this woman asked me when I was due and then spontaneously reached out and proceeded to rub my belly! Typically, strangers don’t just pat or tap my belly either. They rub in large round circles around the circumference of my belly. To be honest, most people are so quick about it, I barely have time to react.

That being said, it does not bother me or make me angry when a stranger rubs my belly. Don’t get me wrong. I think it is incredibly weird. I would never do that to a stranger, and I am always shocked when it happens. However, I do not get angry or ask them to stop. I guess I take it as a strange sort of compliment, if that makes any sense. I think the outward signs of pregnancy tend to make most women a little giddy and curious. As one mom-to-be put it, “They want to get down with some of that warm-fuzzy feeling and don’t stop to think how it would make them feel if someone reached out and touched them.”

I also think that most people are genuinely happy for me, even if they don’t know me. Maybe they think it is their way of sharing in my excitement. They are always very complimentary when they do it. They will tell me how cute I am or what a cute bump I have, and they will ask me when I am due, what I am having, etc… So I don’t think there is any bad intention on their part. Living in Texas, I have also considered that people may just be trying to touch me in order to dispel mal de ojo. So that is my opinion on the matter. Definitely weird, but not something that makes me mad.However, my family and close friends can touch me all they want! My family rubs me down, talks to baby, and even gives him kisses. My girlfriends rub on my belly too, and inquire as to the progress of my cleavage. (They are as disappointed as I am.) This is all just fine with me. I know there are a lot of people who love me and who already love our baby, so family and friends should feel free to rub away! Our family has even been lucky enough to feel him kicking around in there!

DISCLAIMER: I have also heard about strangers who pick up your baby and shower him/her with kisses. I would NOT be okay with this. Lots of new moms report that strangers will lean over and kiss their baby. Not cool. I would probably respond very negatively to that. Aside from being very rude, that is incredibly unhygienic. I would definitely freak out. That is not the same thing as rubbing my belly over my clothes.  That is all.  Thanks.